Having served them in restaurants for many a year -
both Americans and the Brits -
our waiter can tell you a fair thing or two
about how it all works with tips….
“Americans treat you like absolute dirt,
which they might have picked up on their shoe:
They moan and they grumble, find fault everywhere
and they never say please or thank you.
The Brits, on the other hand, couldn’t be kinder,
more friendly or understanding:
They’ll ask after your mother,
your father and brother,
while bad food couldn’t matter a thing!
“There’s a catch here, however – you’ll see what I mean -
that, when service has come to an end,
Americans leave a huge tip on the table,
while the Brits really don’t like to spend.
And that’s why, when serving good food and fine wine, that -
no matter their tantrums or fits -
An American diner is very much finer;
it comes down to their very big tips.”