Introducing The Heid

“You should really have a name for Ollie” on your blog, said a friend recently, “a bit like A.A.Gill’s The Blonde.”
“By damn! You’re right,” I said, and I didn’t have to think long about what that name would be….

Ollie Christmas hat

Clue: Christmas hats are rather ill-fitting.

Ollie is my husband and the person with whom I eat the most frequently (we do live together afterall), and while not in possession of a large fortune (yet), he does lay claim to a very large head. I don’t mean this in terms of character, of course, or I wouldn’t be married to him, but, quite literally, in circumference – there’s no denying it – his head is on the big side.

I should say now that in spite of this gargantuan cranium, or perhaps because of it, my husband is a very good looking chap and clever too (a large cavity fits a lot of brains), but over the years, this giant head has, nevertheless, given rise to a lot of nicknames. Biggie, Big Head, Dr Biggleswick, Massive Swede and, my personal favourite, The Heid (Scottish for ‘head’) have all been introduced, and mingled with a few well-timed head jokes, have entertained our friends endlessly (they’re an easy to please lot).

Anyway, because it’s my favourite and it has a certain gravitas – not to mention a tie-in with A.A. Gill’s The Blonde (though Nicola Formby he ain’t), Ollie shall hence forth be known on this blog as The Heid. And what a marvellous heid it is too!

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